Cupid’s Arrow
Heather D Eslien MA, LMHCA; Kristen Knapick MA, LMHCA
Homosexual, heterosexual, bi, queer, pansexual? There is no specific word for people who are attracted to trans people. Do you find your motives are questioned when you choose a trans lover or prefer to date trans people? Ever been on a dating website and notice there is no check-off box to include your preference? How can we claim our desire for trans bodies as a legitimate sexual orientation? Join us for an in-depth discussion of navigating dating, intimacy, and sex with individuals who are not recognized by our current culture.
Note: Open only to non-trans-identified partners.
Get it On: Sex and Intimacy for Partners
Lisette Lahana, LCSW
Have you been with your partner through transition and noticed shifts in your sexual connection or chemistry? Want to have great sex with your trans partner but feel awkward when the lights go out? How do you choose words to describe your sex and body parts? Does the equipment you use for sex and play take on different meaning if your partner has transitioned? Do you wonder how to sustain sexual intimacy in the face of obstacles such as trauma and body shame? Share your own experiences and questions in this confidential workshop.
Note: Open only to non-trans-identified partners.
Grief, Loss, and Transformation
Kristen Knapick, MA, LMHCA
When our partner moves towards being their authentic self, many of us celebrate their transformation. However, sometimes our desire to be supportive can result in repressing our own emotions. We may feel guilty for not always being the compassionate partner we “should” be. Our own feelings of grief and loss may be hard to articulate. We may have trouble finding the support and understanding that we need. In this closed, partners-only session, we’ll be able to make room for some of that grief, let some go, and find ways to support one another.
Note: This is open only for non-trans partners of people who are physically or socially transitioning, have transitioned, or are considering transition. You do not need to be in a relationship currently to attend.
Identity, Coupledom, and Community
Lisette Lahana, LCSW
Is your out-and-proud identity now in question because of your partner’s transition? Perhaps you are noticing family or co-workers breathing a sigh of relief now that they view you as “normal.” Do you worry that your visible queer identity is in opposition to your partner’s desire to blend in? Are there times where you now use different sexual-orientation labels or have changed community affiliations? Together we will unravel the complexity inherent when your relationship collides with your identity and community.
Note: Open only to non-trans-identified partners.
Living Stealth
Theresa Melson
Does your trans partner keep their gender identity/history under wraps? Only at work? Everywhere? Are you and your partner in agreement about this issue? Sometimes it seems as if the only options are to be all the way “out” or all the way “in.” Are you perceived as a straight couple? Same sex couple? Does this perception align with how you identify? Do you struggle with deciding when and where it’s okay to tell family or friends your partner is trans? Join us to discuss how a partner’s choice to live stealth plays out in our lives.
Note: Open only to those with trans partners whose gender identity/history is not generally known.
Shifting Identities, Expanding Desires
Theresa Melson
Whether our partners are post-transition, just beginning to question their gender, or negotiating an identity somewhere in the middle, their journeys can have major implications for our feelings about sex and attraction, Were you involved primarily with women and never expected to be having sex with someone trans or male-identified? How do you feel about your partner’s body—including a new smell, look, or changing parts? Is being with your partner opening you to new sexual desires? Are your ideas about your sexual orientation shifting? Depending on numbers, there may be break-out groups for lesbian-identified, bi/queer identified, gay male, and straight partners. This workshop will provide a confidential space for non-trans-identified people to talk frankly about fears, challenges, pleasures, and desire.
Note: Open only to non-trans-identified partners.
Supporting Your Partner or Friend Through Surgery
Megan Smith, MS, LMHP, CPC
Are you part of a trans individual’s support team pre-/post-surgery and want to know what to expect? Will you be traveling to another state (or country) and want to be mindful of how the surgery process may impact you emotionally? Want to get tips on what to expect in the first few days post-surgery? Are you prepared for your role as potential advocate in environments that are not knowledgeable about transgender people? Does your support role differ from what your trans loved one expects? Learn from others or share your own experiences in this session. Let’s provide each other with hard-to-find resources, insights, and support while we seek to support those facing/contemplating surgery.
Note: Open to partners, family, and friends of someone who is considering surgery, has a surgery date set, or has already had surgery.
Trans-On-Trans Relationships
Mitchel Cole Dubin-Bresnikar, Jonas David Dubin-Bresnikar
This workshop is for transgender or genderqueer people and their trans/GQ partners. Join us in examining issues related to transitioning and how we deal with them when there is a LOT of gender going on! What are the unique issues relevant to our relationships? What happens when one person takes hormones or has surgery and the other doesn’t? What pressures or anxieties come up for either person? How do you avoid comparisons or feelings of competitiveness? Do others consider one of you “more trans” than the other? What happens when both partners transition? The intricacies of our relationships are too numerous to mention so show up to this workshop and let’s get everything on the table.
Note: Open only to trans or genderqueer partners who are, have been, or expect to be in a relationship with other trans/GQ people.
