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Building Resiliency

Gretchen Holtz is mom to 20-y/o Owen. ghWhen she’s not working, she’s on the computer going to school getting her Bachelor’s (FINALLY) in Social and Health Services. She and Owen live in Bellevue, WA, with 2 cats–Captain Jack and Sarah Jane. When she can either come up for air and socialize, or just feel like NOT sitting at the computer, she is happy to get together with other GO parents at support groups, play fiddle (poor thing feels very neglected right now), or bellydance with friends.

I have been working in a temporary position for five months now. One thing I know is that they aren’t going to hire me. However, yesterday, when I was helping my supervisor with resumes (I honestly hate this job so much that I’m helping with resumes), and specifically asked, “what is the biggest strength you want?” She replies “hee hee–they have to be an awesome scheduler.” Now, I know I suck at schedules. I pity the poor people who got scheduled incorrectly under my watch. I KNOW I have done the very best I can to schedule people, and sometimes I have a rigid spine, and sometimes it turns to jelly, but it still stings when, in not so many words, I am told that I suck at my job in the most important way. Now, by the age of 40, I dreamed that I would have this awesome backbone that was rigid and tough, and no one would be able to shatter me. HA! At 40 I’m far from that, but one thing I found I AM good at is rolling with the punches, for the most part.

When Owen came out, I was concerned about what other people thought, how they would react, whether I would be friends with them again, and all the things that I used to deem important. You find out really quickly how unimportant that can be. I know that I have re-hashed this story many times, but I really honestly think that, if it wasn’t for Owen, I would not have changed as much as into the person that I needed to be. Yes, I still wonder what others think, and I will always be concerned about the crime rate among LGBTQ people, but the wondering about things is wondering, not CARING, and the fact that I have a person who I get to see blossom in so many ways, makes me happy. And, do you know what? Most of my friends who I had to tell are STILL my friends. Some don’t understand, some do, but they are still friends who love the person that is Owen. It is through them, along with my new friends, that I learned how to figure this whole thing out! Now to just get the job I want!

Join us at the Gender Odyssey Family conference and attend sessions such as Building Resiliency as Parents and Top Ten Fears to hear and discuss similar stories.

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